Bullying creates deep emotional wounds on its victim, making the recipient feel vulnerable and demoralized. When you are bullied, you can easily suffer intense pain because you are being treated unjustly. This aggression is suffered by a third of the children and adolescents throughout the world, so it is necessary for us to teach our young how to counteract bullying efficiently. The quickest and easiest way to do this is to teach our children how to love themselves — to show them how unique and special they are. When we do this, we build their self-esteem, which is the only remedy to combat bullying.
Bullying exists. That’s a fact. And not just with children. Sometimes even adults suffer in their work environment. But children are affected the most. Children live bullying in their own flesh, on some occasions as victims, in others as aggressors, or perhaps witnesses to the harassment. For a child, an insult or negative word can be as dangerous as a blow to the head.
The evidence is obvious. In 2001, a Japanese doctor, Masaru Emoto, conducted an experiment that confirmed that vibrations are transmitted by air and water. But not only this, Emoto discovered that water crystals changed their aesthetic appearance according to the type of music they were exposed to, positive or negative thoughts, and emotionally charged words, like “I love you” or “I hate you.” Over 70% of our body is water, so imagine how much it can influence us. Some of Dr. Masaru Emoto’s many experiments on water can be found on YouTube.
Emoto’s findings clearly show that every living being is influenced in many ways, for the positive or negative. In fact, even plants and animals can change their mood depending on the beings around them. This confirms the power of our thoughts.
A heart at war sees everyone as objects — always making one object feel better than the other or feel like a victim. On the other hand, a heart in peace sees others as people and appreciates and respects them for who they are. It is important that our heart is at peace so that we do not need to insult others or see others as less or more than ourselves. A heart at peace will never take advantage of another.
Sometimes teenagers don’t think about the harm that a word can cause to their peers. IKEA did an entire experiment showing the power of thoughts and words on a group of school children. They even showed how it’s possible to kill a plant if we say negative things to it. I share the link of this video campaign so that we may all better understand the magnitude of aggression. Check it out here.
It’s essential for us to understand that the aggressor is not happy being an aggressor. It is a demonstration of his or her own insecurity and low self-esteem. When the aggressor is aware of this and decides to love and accept himself as he is, he can rectify the error. An “apology,” “forgiveness” or “sorry” is so powerful that it can transform and heal any previous damage. That’s why it’s so important to forgive, leave behind, and let go.
The wounds of bullying will never be removed with creams or pills. They are etched into the soul, where many will choose to stay as victims for the rest of their lives — replaying negative inner conversations, or constantly repeating the aggressor’s insults. “I’m a loser…I’m not worth anything…I’m not good enough.” These thoughts can lead to depression and, in the worst case, even suicide.
This is why it is important to teach children and adolescents not to take personally the words which their aggressors shout. They must understand that these aggressors are not well, nor are they superior to them. We must help our children connect with their unique talents, and help them realize that they should not compare themselves to others. Nobody needs to be perfect; we need to be ourselves — believing, trusting, accepting and loving who we are.
A child who believes in himself will learn not to resist any problem, or be afraid to face any harassment or challenge in his life. In the end, children will use a negative situation to their benefit. More than that, their experience will help other victims of bullying.
If we treat ourselves well and believe in ourselves, nothing and no one can hurt us. But, it all starts with what we think of ourselves. Remember, if you say you can, you can. Your thoughts are the key to your peace, happiness, and freedom. Don’t depend on anything or anyone outside of you to change your life.
And when you change, everything changes.